Shadow of a doubt
by WeirdDoline
Summary: What happened in the head of Sirius Black the night Lily and James were killed?


SHADOW OF A DOUBT

Just a word before you read

Wotcher! So, this is a very short story and it takes place on the evening Lily and James Potter are murdered. I wrote a very similar fanfiction in French a few years ago and I recently thought it might be fun to try and translate it into English. This is not my first language so there may be a few mistakes. Sorry about that. So there you go. Enjoy!

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I have to see Peter, right now. He didn't seem so well last time I spoke to him. Maybe Voldemort knows. I'm half walking half running toward the house where he's been hiding for the last year. It's right here at the end of the street.

I knock at the door once… no answer. Twice… no answer. I'm beginning to be scared. I might be too late. Holding both my breath and my wand, I push the door. It opens with an eerie creaking noise. If he is here and alright, he's going to hear me. What thoughtless, stupid guy would let his door unlocked during a war! But he's not here. I step into the sitting room.

"Peter? Peter, it's Sirius! Come on, man, it's not funny. Peter!"

Nope. He's obviously not here. Something must have happened to him, but, looking at the room, I can see no trace of a fight. If Peter was attacked, he surely enough defended himself. That is so weird. He can't be at James and Lily's; he knows that would be too dangerous. Unless he wants them to be found by Voldem… Oh shit! Peter? No way!

This time, I'm definitely running to Lily and James's house. I must warn them. They have to get away from here! On the way, I stop at home and hop on my motorbike. It'll be faster. That's it, I'm there. All I have to do is go round the… I'm too late. Way too late. Where the Potters' house once was there's only ruins. Under the debris, I can see their bodies. Lily and James. Dead. Both of them. I can actually feel my face go white. This is my fault. I killed them. I killed them. Merlin, I killed them!

Somebody touches my shoulder. I turn around and see Hagrid. He's holding Harry. The little one is alive and seems to be unharmed.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius," says Hagrid.

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Apparently I've been crying. I'm looking at Harry and suddenly it strikes me. I'm in charge of the little fellow, now.

"Give me Harry, Hagrid" I say. "I'm his godfather. I'll take care of him."

"Sorry, Sirius. I 'ave to take 'im straight to Dumbledore."

I look into his eyes. He's not going to change his mind.

"Fine. Take my bike, then. I won't be needing it anymore."

Hagrid thanks me, starts the engine and leaves with Harry. I hope Dumbledore knows what he's doing. How could I be so blind? How could I think that it was Remus. It seemed the easiest choice… "of course, must be the werewolf", you know... plus Remus was so distant. Then again, Remus is always a little distant. But Peter… Peter's not going to get away with this. I'll make him regret what he did to Lily and James! Murdering bastard!

He can't be very far. He wouldn't have had the time. He must be in the neighbourhood. I walk towards an empty alley and there, I turn into a dog. Yeah… he's still close. I can smell him. I follow his trail which leads me to a street full of muggles. I turn back into a human quickly when I'm sure no one's looking and I walk forward. There he is. I can see him trying to run away, the filthy coward! I chase him down a street. It's a dead end. He can't escape. My wand is pointed at him. He seems to be hesitating. And so am I. I can almost hear the two annoying little voices in my head fighting. The first one whispers in a kind of sadistic tone "Kill him. Kill him!" and it's really tempting. But the second one keeps saying "It's Peter… It's Wormtail…"

And suddenly, he's not hesitating anymore. He takes a deep breath and shouts out loud for everyone to hear:

"Lily and James! How could you, Sirius?"

What the hell is he doing? Then I notice that he's holding his wand behind his back. Before I can even react, he casts one spell that kills instantly all the people around us. Then he points his wand at his hand and cuts off one of his fingers. Disgusting. He transforms and disappears in the sewer. It takes a little while before I understand what he's done. And when I finally get it, I have the most bizarre and inappropriate reaction. I start laughing with a sort of hysterical, spooky laugh. I never laughed like that before but I just can't help it. I could almost scare myself!

There's a scream in the street and I can hear voices calling me.

"Drop your wand and put your hands on your head!"

I turn around. The Aurors are here. Of course. Right away, I know that I am going to be arrested for the murder of Lily and James Potter. That clever little rat! I don't have a choice. I do what I'm told. I follow two tall guys to a black car. Around us, I can see people with shocked faces, some of them crying, some of them trying to see what happened. And suddenly, I see Remus among them. I catch his eyes and he gives me a deeply hurt look. I can barely stand it. Of all people I don't want Moony to think I sold the Potters to Voldemort. I'd like to scream that it wasn't me, that I would never betray Lily and James. But I can't. In fact, deep down, I know I'm guilty. I know it's my fault.


End file.
